The Family Audition

About a month ago I posted this on Facebook:  “My family and I auditioned for a reality show today about something or other. If they want to film the most boring family ever, we just might get chosen! On another note though we had a big busy day today even before the audition and nobody had a meltdown. Matthew was great.”.  

It was one of those posts that leave you hanging (for those that care for details) so I thought it might be time to follow up on what that was all about.  It all started when my husband told me “I submitted our family for an audition” and we had been called to come in person.

“oh? What for?”

“I’m not sure, some family thing, I had to submit a heart-felt story”

“What story did you tell?”

“The one where Jingle was born 5 weeks early and how he had to stay in the NICU for awhile and how friends told us they weren’t sure he’d survive.”

“Friends told you they didn’t think he’d survive???” [This was news to me – that thought had never crossed my mind.]

So, while I dwelled on the story, I also inquired as to the specifics.   What are we supposed to wear?  What are we supposed to do?  The answers were vague… they just said wear something you’re comfortable in.   I don’t know what they are going to ask us.  Oh, and by the way, the audition was the same day as Jingle’s kindergarten graduation, which was a full day at the local park for all of us, and three classes of kindergartners.  And no, we could not reschedule.

So…the audition day came… we prepped the kids as best we could…”listen, after the park, Jingle has to go back to class for a short while, Mama, Daddy, and Savvy will change clothes and we’ll bring clothes for Jingle.  Then we need to rush to BART to go downtown.”    Seriously, while intrigued that we had a family audition, the thought of dragging our tired family on a train was not at all appealing.  But, the four of us held it together, and I think we were all excited about what we were going to do.

We got to the place and waited for our turn while the kids had snacks and played games on the iPhone.  Every chance I could I asked Matt, “what are we supposed to do/say in the audition?” and every time he answered the same “I’m not sure”.  He had forwarded me the email that he received, and it was equally vague.

Finally, we were called in to the room and all four of us sat on a tiny bench in front of a video camera while a lady asked us some questions.   First it was the basics… our names, the kids ages, and then Matt had to start to tell his story.   We were all so tired, the story sounded flat, and I was more nervous about Jingle hearing the part where “people thought he wouldn’t survive” then launching us into his questions of “what?? Why wouldn’t I survive? What are you talking about…?”  Luckily Matt glazed over that part and Jingle didn’t hear it.   Then the lady asked “Do you have any family traditions?”  [Blink, Blink].  ‘um’.   ‘um.’….well, we do this thing where we always joke about who the silliest person in the family is? “  [Every single meal time and it drives Mama crazy].  After that, I don’t even know what was said, but it seemed pretty bland.  We finished and left, not thinking we’d ever hear anything again.

And yet, we did!  We were asked to come back two weeks later for a Callback Audition.  This time, we had no big plans on the same day, so the kids and I were relaxed and took our time getting dressed and ‘pretty’.   Daddy still had to go to work, so he met us there.   We tried to discuss any traditions we had, but still were coming up blank.  I think the biggest tradition we have in my family is that my uncle dresses up as Santa Claus every year and comes to the house on Christmas Eve, but that’s not something you can share when the kids are sitting on your lap.

As we sat in the waiting room the second time, I was listening (eavesdropping) to others who were there who seemed to know more about this audition than we did.  I got a sense that the people in the room really wanted to hear Jingle speak more than the rest of us.  So, I took him aside and let him know that he was encouraged to speak when he wanted to and also to be confident!  At times, my son has the confidence of five people, and he certainly can talk, but at other times when he’s a little unsure, he reverts to baby talk and it’s difficult to understand him.  But, he’s already wise on the audition scene (I think he’s wiser than his Mama) and takes direction really well, so he was all over this.

We get in the room and again pile onto the tiny bench, but this time there were at least 5 other people in the room with us.  One of the men started to ask us again about Family Traditions.  We fumbled through with stories about our clock and bedtime routines, and I discussed Santa in very vague terms (which was met with a response of “oh, Santa comes to your house on Christmas Eve?” While I’m sure he was really implying “You do know many people think he comes to their house right?!”)

Jacob was talking a lot, and the more he talked, the more Savvy wanted to interject her thoughts, so the kids were doing great.  At some point we got on the subject of Grandma coming to our house weekly, and suddenly all 5 people lit up and started asking questions…”What do you do with Grandma?”   

“Fold clothes, play animals…” Jingle responds…

“What do you mean ‘play animals’?”   They inquired.

At this point I think both Matt and I knew to just shut up because we didn’t even know quite how to answer this, but Jingle did.  He told them all about his carpet that has a river, and trees and footprints and how they go on adventures with their stuffed animals.

“What makes Grandma so good at playing animals?” they asked.  And again, Matt and I stayed silent.   And, with pure innocence, Jingle thought about this carefully “ummm…” he said as he shrugged his shoulders, and then, as cutely as anyone could ever respond, said “Because she’s Grandma!!”

And…Scene.

We ultimately did not get the part, but I was so proud of the kids for how they behaved in there.  They were engaged and trying, and I felt they did far better then I did.   If something like this presents itself again, we will keep trying, not so much because we’re dying to get a gig, but just because the adventure of it was fun.  Oh, who am I kidding, it would also be fun to be cast.